A Part of My Heart Stays Behind

"He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name."  Psalm 23:3


We all know who the "He" is in this passage....God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit...and through my darkest of days I know HE is always with me.  I shared a quote I think earlier in this day....basically saying that's where we find Him...in those valleys. 

I also find him in Michael...today is my husband, Michael's birthday.  What a birthday present...me home?!!!  Yeah...that's what he says.  He's elated to have me back and misses me so much.  I miss him too but it's different when he's here at home all alone with all my stuff around and our 'normal' life is missing something... me!  So he was eagerly awaiting me at the foot of the escalator last night. 

Knowing Jesus Christ is my strength...there's no doubt that He offers it and richly blesses me with it through Michael.  He's a solid foundation for me...holding me accountable, being my cheerleader from the sidelines, and or being the first to call me out...and yes, there are those times.  Those time when someone so grounded in his faith...offers his insights, his opinion, his interpretation...that helps me to see things in a different light. 

Oh trust me...there are those times that I don't either...those times when I'm so set in my opinion and frame of mind...bull headed, I believe would be an appropriate word here.  But, he loves me...both Michael and Jesus....love me just the same. 

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Today....home from the Dominican....feels weird.  Still fresh enough to smell the smoke in the air in Barahona...suitcases are on the back porch and will be for several days 'airing' out.  There's a distinct smell every where you go...and there is no different.  Laundry is being done...a few souveniers pulled out....but I'm a bit teary today. 

I miss my roomy, Susan...yeah, she's right here in the same town basically with me....but we've been inseperable pretty much for the past 12 days and I miss her. 
I miss the sound of the ocean outside our room...
I miss looking up into the night sky and seeing more stars than I have ever seen in my life...because we're so far out...
I miss the people...how, as you ride down the road in the open red truck...they'll wave as you wave...they're the same as me.
I miss the team...God's team that He so sweetly put together.  I smile as I think about the things we shared this week...each with their own gifts and talents...their niche'

I miss seeing God so simply.....oh, I know He's here....but as I have made it so abdundantly clear throughout my blog....here...He's not as simple sometimes.  I know...I make it that way.

I miss....a part of my heart that always stays behind. 

"I Know What It Is To Have Plenty" Philippians 4:12

"All of us love mountaintop experiences, but it is a trap to always be expecting and looking forward to those times of exhilaration. And if we are truly honest, we will admit we have learned greater lessons from the Lord while in the valleys  of life.  Of course, our understanding of what God was doing typically comes much later.  Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, once wrote, 'Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.' 

When we compare the mountaintop to the valley, we realize that what sustains us- such as water, food, and fellowship - is found in the valley.  And, the people who so desperately need our testimony of faith live there!"

  

"Morning by Morning"  The Devotions of Charles Spurgeon & Jim  Reimann

I've read this twice today...and it rings with such truth.  It's when I'm at my lowest that I can see Him...feel Him, so why would we think that's now where He is....wanting us to lean, and rely on His wisdom, Grace, and Mercy.

I wonder if maybe that's why the people in these 3rd world countries are so close to Him...they don't have all the distractions but they still rely on us....you and I to offer them and show them their mountaintop experiences.  Regardless of how different it may be from ours.  He's still just as powerful and "there" for them.  I want to talk to God someday and ask him...no, I want to applaude Him in creating us in such ways...we can tolerate the valley's, while experiencing different levels of mountaintops yet still seeing Him.

Blessings

At the End of the Escalator

Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”—Matthew 18:19-20

Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family.

—Acts 16:30-33

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At some point beginning today's journey, or once we arrived in Miami...I had texted Gracie to see if she had already gone back to school at Wingate.  Her reply was "yep."  I'll have to say just for a second...I thought maybe she hadn't and would be there tonight when we arrived at Charlotte Douglas.  But, she kept on with some other conversation and I let the thought go...

Our flight was very late getting in, and I knew she had morning classes so it would have been crazy for her to be there.  I was hoping Tony, Susan's husband was going to be there for her though...and Michael told me when we were in Miami that Tony wasn't coming because he had to work tomorrow.  Flustered me a bit...she's been gone all this time and he couldn't come....love you Bubba and apologize for being flustered...only to find out later that he gave up his seat to come pick up the girls for my Gracie.  I love you Tony...thank you!

As the Charlotte flight came down the escalator into baggage claim, what do I find but Michael standing there as I had anticipated...and also my Gracie.  Her big beautiful smile shining knowing she had pulled one over on her momma.  Pleasantly I might add! 

I know what you may be thinking...who does she hug first?  Well....knowing the other would understand, and I think knowing that he knew who I would hug first...I went to my Gracie.  She had been on my mind and my heart for so much of this trip.  From thinking about her while talking and sharing with Connie.  Thinking of how God is leading her into the ministry and feeling His Presence in her and my life.  Not being able to talk to her on Skype as we had planned and how we both struggled so much with that until we had to give that up to God to control...and He did.  To watching the youth skits at LaHoya's church and realizing what God is doing in her life.  I want her so much to experience this culture, and although she has through me and my pictures, stories over the years...I want her to carry it in her heart.  So, yeah...she was with me in a big way this year and I had to get to her and get/give a hug. 

Michael was given a hug from Susie...so he was covered and then we switched...He understands this love I have for my girl.  He understands this bond that we share, our past, our struggles, and he comfortably understands his role in being our blessing from God that pulled our past pains from a bad marriage into a blessed family household that loves God, and worships Him together. 

I love you both, Michael and Gracie!  I've never asked 'permission' to go on the trip each year...I laugh as I type that.  I guess I'm not an 'ask permission' type person...but I do know your love for me well enough to know that you enable my desires and allow me to follow my heart, my dream, my gifts...so for that I say 'thank you.'

Blessings!

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

—Colossians 3:18-21